Didya think I forgot about blogging??!!!!???!

Nope!! I am still here and working hard!! I still haven't really gotten into the eating completely healthy yet but my workouts are awesome and I am really really loving it!! I am so nervous about going today though.. I think I mentioned before that I was going to work out with Dee well I got sick that next day and didn't feel good at all so I didn't go.. I did walk in my neighborhood though but I just didn't go to work out with him.. I think part of it was an excuse so I didn't have to go because I am so scared!!! I think the thing I am "afraid" of the most is people looking at me while I am working out with him.. When you work out with a trainer everyone can hear their voices in the whole place so you kinda stand out but when I am doing cardio alone I kinda blend in.. I think that is the main reason why worry so much about going.. I am going to start adding more fruits and more healthier things to my diet each week.. Allen's Chiropractor used to work for the Ole Miss Athletic Department and he worked up a sheet for Allen to go by as far as what are good things for him to eat and bad things that work with his blood type.. He is going to do the same for Bradyn and I so hopefully I can do better with the eating thing.. I just love to eat so much but I guess I need to start doing better with that. I mean good grief I work my ass off at the gym I should care a little more about what I put into my body, right??!!??!!

Wow.. I think I can really tell now!!!

I was beginning to think I was never going to be able to tell that I had lost weight!!! I felt like Ruby felt when she said she had lost 60lbs but couldn't tell at all.. But last night I had to go to somewhere and after I put on my clothes I could tell they were loose so I looked at myself in the mirror and I can tell!!!! WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! It feels so good to get all those sweet compliments too!! It really motivates me!!!! I worked out last night and then today Missha and I are meeting Susan and Devyn at the gym! It's a girly workout day!!

FEELING FINE!!

I just knew I would have a better day today and I DID!!! LOL.. I went to the gym today and found out I am working out TOOOOOOO MUCH!! WHAT THE HELL????? DEE one one of my trainers (a hot ass looking guy too!!!) told me NOT to do weights/strength training everyday!!! He said that my cardio is great everyday but not to do the weighs every time I come to the gym which is usually about 5 days a week and I had been doing that!!!! No wonder I am not loosing hardly any weight.. I mean yea I am loosing it but I am gaining more muscles to quickly.. He said to only do my strength training 2 to maybe 3 days a week!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Oh and get this.. Dee also trained Nicole my cousin and Nicole told me to "yea introduce yourself to Dee and tell him to work your ass off like he did mine".. So today I introduced myself to him and told him what she said and I was kidding.. I really didn't want him to work my ass off.. Well he wants Susan and I to meet him on Friday!! OH MYLANTA!!! What have I gotten myself into.. He is hardcore!!!! I AM SCARED!!! LOL

UGH.. Not a good day!

I guess we can't always have great days can we???!!!!???!!!! And today for me, wasn't one of them!!!! I got a call this morning around 11am saying that Bradyn was sick so I went to pick him up from school. My plan for the day was to go to work at the school for a few hours, go work out, go buy my dad a cake because it's his birthday today and then go to his house to celebrate.. Well since my poor baby was sick I stayed home with him and had an eating fest!!!!! I did go pick up daddy's cake earlier this morning and it was just sitting there all by it's little lonesome all day!! I should have put it in the freezer or something but I kept telling my self "no it won't taste the same, it will go to waste" knowing full damn well it would be absolutely freakin' fine!!! Well when I brought Bradyn home he sees the cake and wants it bad.. That is our weakness, BIG TIME!! I told him if he felt better I would give him some.. I guess deep inside I wanted him to feel better so bad so we could eat cake! I know how sick is that, right! I tell you though... CAKE... sitting there untouched in my family is like having mounds of money all around and your not supposed to spend it!! It is torture!!!!! He threw up on and off during the day but kept wanting a little cake.. So what did I do??? Do you even have to ask that ??? Yes, I cut into that sucker like I was a homicidal maniac!!! We didn't eat it all but we had a few pieces... I felt bad about it.. I wanted to get it up and get it out of my system... I felt like I had commited the worst crime ever!! I don't know why food is such an addiction for me.. I don't consider it a comfort.. I don't feel comforted when I eat it.. I usually feel so freakin' guilty about it.. So here I am sitting here.. Feeling like a complete failure.. All because of one little day! One little day of mess ups and I feel like all is lost.. I know it's not.. Tomorrow will probably be brighter for me but still.. I hate feeling like this! DAMN THE MAKERS OF CAKE!!!!

I love Bradyn!!!

Bradyn wants to see his name on the computer! So here it is! I love you Bradyn!

I forgot to say this on my last post!

Picture This: I am walking really fast on the treadmill and I was really getting it too!! I was enjoying the melody of dance music on my ipod. I was really feeling the burn but it felt good.. I was enjoying it so much and I was so proud of myself because I was not wanting to stop, I wasn't out of breath, I WANTED TO KEEP GOING!!! So I started smiling and giggling a little and then I was like... OH CRAP.. I am sure everyone heard me.. You know when you have headphones in your ears you don't really hear yourself good.. LOL!! But who cares what they think, right!!! LOL.. I just thought that was funny..

I had a great work out today!

I went to the gym today and met Dev and one of her friends. I did my normal but I probably walked a little more because I was waiting on her to get there. After our workout we hit the steam room and sweated like crazy!! I love getting in that thing.. At first it kinda takes my breath away but after a min or so it feels so good... I have also done really well with my eating disorder.. I haven't felt the urge to get rid of any food or anything so that is great for me!!! I plan on going to Over Eaters Anonymous this week.. Wednesday to be exact.. I really wish Allen would go workout with me.. His back hurts a lot and he doesn't feel good a lot too. I am going to try and talk him into it.. Just for a few days maybe he will like it.. He has a membership now to a gym in New Albany but he NEVER EVER goes!!!! Hopefully his membership will run out soon so he won't have to pay for it anymore and he can go with me to the Wellness Center!