WOW... long time no post!!!!

Happy New Year!! I kinda fell behind on this.. and I really don't know why.. It made me feel better to have a diary of sorts.. What have I been up to these days?? I have really been doing a TON of photography.. I love it so much.. I have also been really really into Zumba!! It is so much fun. I have lost some weight from doing it as well which is a PLUS in my book! I haven't lost as much as I would have maybe 30 or 40 or so.. I will say it gets frustrating though. I feel like I work so hard at loosing weight and just doesn't come off like I think it should.. I dunno maybe this new year will bring new things for me..

Where in the hell am I????

I have been asking myself that here lately too!! I just don't know.. I haven't felt good at all for a few months.. I just feel blah.. That's just the best way to explain how I am feeling.. Along with Blah I am crazy emotional, tired, sluggish, I have tons of anxiety and my heart still flutters a lot..I did go to the Endocrinologist last week though and he is going to increase my synthroid so maybe that will help.. One thing this guy said though was that he thought I was OCD!! WTF!!??? I mean I guess I can see it a little in some of the things I am anal about but not to the point of having medicine.. He prescribed med some kinda pill for it too.. He also kept saying.. "YOU GOOD GIRL, YOU GOOD GIRL".. LOL.. he was from another country so I wasn't quite sure what that meant!! I guess it means I am a good girl but um yea!!.. OK......The tests also showed my bad cholesteral was a little high.. He said to eat more fruits and veggies and less of the other crap.. I don't eat a lot of fried crap anyway so I guess I can work on that.. I also haven't been going to the gym in a bout 2 weeks or more!! Like I said.. I just haven't feel good.. I literally didn't want to get out of the bed for several weeks.. I haven't really gained any weight back so that is good.. but I haven't lost any more either.. So I really don't know where I am in my life right now.. I am just on a stand still waiting for something.. A good swift kick in the ass maybe??? I don't know..

Opps I did it again!!

I said I was going to keep updating regularly again didn't I??? Sorry!! I have really been doing good lately.. I have been losing more weight and I can really tell it now.. I was starting to worry and thinking to myself.. OMG will this weight ever fucking come off!!! I was really really getting frusterated!! I think the synthroid is helping! I have lost about 4 sizes so far!! I am sooo excited and so proud of myself.. Today I made Bradyn, Kelsey and Missha jog with me!! LOL.. I still want to do the Couch to 5k thing but it is still so hard for me to jog for a whole minute at a time I think a lot of it is that my weight holds me back from being able to jog for long periods of time anyway today I made them jog for 30second intervals for about a mile and a half or so.. It was hard but we did it!! I still go to the gym regularly and my eating I think has really improved.. I try to go for the more healthy stuff now.. I still have urges to throw up my food but I really really try to get my mind off of it when I am feeling it bad.. Bradyn has been so cute about my weight loss too.. He giggles when I show him that I can take my jeans off with out unbuttoning them!! LOL.. He keeps saying he can't wait to "put his arms around me all the way when I loose more weight".. I just want to make sure he knows that being skinny isn't always healthy and that it's best to be healthy and not worry about how small you are.. I struggled with that my whole life.. I don't want him to have the same feelings about his body like I did and do..

I am back.. FAITHFULLY!!! I promise!!

I have missed some gym time because I have been a sick girlie.. For the past 2 weeks or more I have felt just plain lousy.. I was very very moody, emotional, EXHAUSTED, my shoulders were numb a lot at night time, my heart was palpitating all the time, but what really worried me was one day I was in the shower and I was combing out my hair after shampooing it and chunks came out.. I could feel it coming out at the root!! It really scared me.. My hair is kinda my thing and to even think that I was loosing it.. TERRIFIED me!! So the very next day I went to the Dr and they ran some blood work and found that my thyroid was out of whack!! I have Hypothyroidism.. I kinda thought all along I would end up with a thyroid problem though.. I was told when I was 19 that I had a thyroid problem but when I moved back home from college I was told it was fine.. So all these years every time I have been sick they have tested for thyroid and NOTHING.. Well until last week!! My Dr put me on synthroid.. She also said that with hypothyroidism (hypo for short) can be the reason why it has been sooooo very difficult for me to loose weight.. She said taking the meds may help.. So that is a positive thing.. I THINK.. I didn't realize but the thyroid has a lot to do with the body.. It affects your hormones and everything! NO WONDER I WAS A CRAZED BANCHEE!!! lol..

So what do I do from here?? Well I did start back at the gym this week and I am going to try my best to do the program COUCH TO 5K I will probably have to take my time on this since I still have so much more weight to loose but I AM going to do it. I have always wanted to run.. I have even daydreamed before about crossing a finish line and I get all teary.. I haven't gained ANY of the weight I had lost so that is a great thing!! I just have to start not really over because that would mean freakin' 2 min on the DEVIL machine and I can do so much more than that now, I just have to start where I left off!!! :) TA TA for now!!

Wow... Where have I been????!!??

I can't believe it's been this long since I have blogged!! I kinda left everyone in the dark didn't I??!!!?? Well what has been going on with me you ask? Just life I guess.. I have still been going to the gym only not so much this last week.. I have been in a big time funk lately.. Something I really need to pray about.. My family and I have been having some tough times lately.. Kinda like when it rains it pours.. I have felt so damn overwhelmed lately.. It's been one thing after another.. The day before yesterday when I thought I had enough I go and run my car across the side of the little metal rails that block the gas tanks so I dent and scratch up the passenger side of the door big time!! UGH!!! I cried and Allen just hugged me and told me it was ok and that it happens.. He is really the best husband anyone could have.. Sometimes I forget that.. I am really a fortunate person to have him in my life.. He is just amazing.. I don't think I have lost any more weight.. I feel all crappy lately because I haven't gone this week too.. :(.. It's just been a tough week for me.. I did feel the need to purge my food a few times this week.. I think I am realizing that when I am really stressed I do it the most.. It does help to be honest on here though.. I feel like it holds me accountable.. Well I need to go I have such a BUSY day ahead of me.. I have to get ready for my garage sale, edit some photos for Deanna, and other stuff..

I had my 3 month assesment today!

I was very proud of my results however I do I wish I had lost more weight but I have to keep telling myself that is JUST numbers!! Here are my results!
My previous body fat was at 45.0 and my new body fat % is 39.3!! My trainer said he was VERY proud of that because it takes so much just to loose 1%!! My bicep strength went from 56 to 64, My resting heart rate went from a "fair" score of 82 to and "EXCELLENT" score of 70, my blood pressure stayed the same it was good on my first assessment and it's still great:), My aerobic fitness went from 19.8 to a 24.7, and my overall fitness score went from a 43 to a 37!!!! I think that is pretty damn good, right??!!!???!!??!!

I feel like I have lost about 50lbs today!!!! LOL

Wow did I have an active day!!!!!!!!!! Let me say first off I am sorry for not updating sooner.. I have been kinda busy with the family lately but I have kept going to the gym and walking with mom a few days a week!! I didn't go to the gym yesterday because I didn't feel so good (woman troubles... YUCK!!!!!) I did go today and I ROCKED the precore.. I was so freakin' proud of myself!!! I have been doing better and better on it.. This week I went with Amanda L. and one day we did 20min on the precore and the next we did 21!! But today was my bestest time eva!!! I even got proof!! LOL Freakin 31.15min!! Can you beleive it!!!???!!!I went from barely making 2 minutes to 31.5!!! I am stoked!! I probably could have kept going too!!! I really wasn't that tired.. I do think that having my ipone helps though because I can watch a movie while I am workin' out!! LOL..
After the gym Bradyn and I went for a little bike ride. We rode for about a mile or so but my legs were kinda sore and he just now learned to ride his bike so he still isn't that sure of himself on it yet:) so we layed on a blanket in the front yard and we read some books which was nice and relaxing.. Then mama came home from work and we ate and then went for a walk.. We walked about 2 miles!!!! I FEEL GOOD BUT MY BODY IS SORE.. I really am proud of myself though!!!!! GO ME!!!